So I just got back from spending a couple of days in the Ozark Mountains. It was incredible. We stayed in Leif's mother's cabin on Lake Lenee in Jasper, the county seat of Newton County, and arguably one of the most beautiful areas of the Natural State. An area so rural that it wasn't that uncommon for us to have to drive through rivers and creeks on dirt roads to get to where we were going. Crooked highways, massive canyons, and green for as far as the eye can see. On Sunday night we road around the back mountain roads drinking beer and listening to Leif tell stories about growing up there. He showed us this gnarly old metal shack where a bootlegger named Ewee lived. We laughed when he said that all of the bootleggers go to sleep around eight or nine o'clock, and do nothing but sale and drink beer all day long. Good thing we stopped at the liquor store in Morrilton on the way up. We visited Leif's mother's house and her tiny little wooden cabin in the woods overlooking the Little Buffalo river. It had no electricity, but was full of candles, a futon, and a wood burning stove. I remember thinking that it seemed like just the type of hideaway that Jack Kerouac was always dreaming about in all of his letters and journals. Finally made it back to where we were staying to grill some food and drink more beer. The night felt wonderful. Drove out to the river and sat in the darkness cracking jokes and telling stories. Heard one about a kid up there who once jumped off of a bluff and into too shallow water. He almost died. Said that he saw a white light and heard "Freebird" playing. Does God really listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd? Leif said there used to be a cult leader up there in the early 90's who went by the name "FOU." (Food, Oxygen, Understanding.) Apparently he was a real lunatic who convinced tons of folks to follow him. He was always threatening to blow up Jasper. The whole ordeal culminated in some of his followers hijacking a school bus and having this huge shoot out with the cops on the bridge downtown in 1992.. People were killed. The next night we heard from a cook in the Point of View restaraunt who said he saw the whole gunfight go down. When Leif was in high school he broke into FOU's old abandoned house and found his personalized license playe. " FOU " as you might of guessed. Said he would sell it to me for $10 bucks. I'm thinking it might be a good investment...
We woke up the next morning and loaded the canoes onto the trucks. Drove up to Ponca to start floating. Me, Seth, and Nick immediately had trouble with the old metal canoe and proceeded to crash into a fallen tree and flipped into the water, along with our cooler and lunch. Luckily, the beer and my sandwhiches were recovered. No one else was as fortunate. After a rough start, me and Baldy got into the groove of things and canoeing felt fucking awesome. It had been raining for several days, and the Buffalo River was flowing pretty quickly by it's standers. We only had one hardcore crash where me and Seth crashed into some other trees and flew into some pretty swift rapids. The canoe got stuck. Baldy got washed down river. I was able to slowly head back up stream along the bands to unhook the canoe. I was terrified of getting bit by a snake. Got the canoe loose and swam back down to the rest of the guys. Then we hiked up to Hemmed Hollow and saw the tallest waterfall in this area of the mid-south. It was astounding. I probably would have enjoyed it more if my left eye had not been completely on fire from the sun block that had dripped into it hours earlier. Goddamn, that shit hurt. Canoeing was a blast, and I can't wait to do it again...Later that night we hung out at the cabin playing music and laying around. Seth and I got restless and proceeded to put my new camera to use, in an attempt to take some of the most stereotypical homosexual photographs that we could. I think we did a pretty good job with the one below. What do you think?

"Depeche Mode is a sweet band!"


This is the spot where we went swimming before driving home like a bat out of hell on Wednesday morning in order for me to make it back in time for work...